Does it really have to be this way?

I took the babies to their doctor today for shots.  Since I am a "new mom" I didn't really know what to expect.  Now, I knew the shots wouldn't be any fun and that they would cry, but I did not expect my heart to break so badly when the little baby looked at me as if she was asking "how could you let them do this to me?"  Ali was asleep when I put her on the table and the bitch nurse said "I hate to do this to sleeping babies" and jabbed the needle into her.  She popped her eyes open, looked at me in that horrible way, and started screaming.  I didn't know she could make those noises.  Angela got her shots first and that was bad enough, but I made my sister hold her while she was getting them.  After Ali got hers the nurse just left the room.  Nothing about what to watch them for or anything.  We had asked for some Tylenol and she brought it in.  There was no dropper with it and my sister asked for one.  She said that we would have to go to the drug store and buy one.  I got a really nasty feeling about the actual doctor and the whole office.  We will not be going back there.  When I get a bad feeling about a place I'm usually right.  Oh, did I mention we sat in the exam room for an hour and when I went to ask when the nurse would be in they said they had forgotten about us being in there?  Yeah.  Not so great.

I'm going to stay home with the girls tomorrow.  They were extra cranky tonight because of the shots and I feel like they need me to be here with them.  I also feel like I'm being really spacey at work lately and need some time to get back on track.  I just can't think about anything besides the babies while I'm away.  I feel like my family has been run over in the last month and I haven't had a chance to process any of it.  I keep forgetting to do things at work that are normally second nature.  I wish I could take a mini vacation, but that's not going to happen for a while.

I hope everyone else is doing well.  Take care!