Life Goes On

Randomness

2005-10-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

Currently reading: A Caress of Twilight by Laurell K. Hamilton

Another favorite movie: Shaun of the Dead

Watching on TV: My Name is Earl, Las Vegas, Medium, Veronica Mars, Desperate Housewives

Sad to lose this year: Joan of Arcadia, Dead Like Me

A group of us from my work ate lunch at Pizza Hut yesterday and they had advertisements on every table for Buzzword. Each table topper had a stack of the cards and we ended up sitting there for 2 HOURS playing with the cards. It was very fast paced and addictive and we weren't even keeping score! Another game I love is Balderdash. It's been several years since I played, but it's so much fun.

My husband and I are trying to decide if I will need to quit my job after we adopt the girls. Now the state pays for daycare because we have guardianship, but after the adoption is finalized that will stop. We can afford daycare on our own, barely, but that means that I would only be bringing home a couple of hundred dollars a month after paying for it. Plus the adoption itself is going to cost us a bit of money. We really wanted to get some of our credit cards paid off before we had kids, but that didn't happen! Most people get 9 months to prepare and we got 5 minutes and two kids. So, quitting my job would slow those pay offs down considerably. Is it really worth working just to give the daycare 90% of what I make?

We had pork chops, baked sweet potatoes, and green beans for dinner tonight. Mmmmm. Good fall dinner. I'm SO ready for the holidays this year and I've even started my Christmas shopping already! That's so unheard of for me. I actually bought several gifts from the Crafter's United Etsy shop. The link's over there in my "Good Reads." All the money goes to Katrina relief. I've discovered some really cool people there as well! Pesky Mac is one of them, also on the "Good Reads" list.

I guess I better go help fold the laundry! See ya!

What's it all about?

2005-10-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

Over the last few months I've thought a lot about my blog and what I really wanted from it. The truth is, I still don't know. But, I kept thinking about random things I'd like to write about so here I am!

The girls are still with us. We started the adoption process this week! We have to have consents signed by both parents, a home study, and a court date, then they are ours forever! Angela is now two and a half and Ali is eighteen months. I'm amazed by them every day.

Just to get us started, I'm going to make a list of some of my favorite movies. As I think of more, I'll add them later. Here is a start, in no particular order:

Eurotrip
Love Actually
Super Troopers
Garden State
Notting Hill
Adaptation
American Beauty
A Mighty Wind
Bring it On
Chicago

Those are just a few. Right now my favorite is Eurotrip. I could watch it over and over and never get tired of it! I'm trying to find a "Scotty Doesn't Know" ringtone...

Okay, the dryer just quit so I need to go. Why does the house cleaning never end?!?!

Just curious, what are you and/or your kids going to dress up as for Halloween?

Just sittin here

2005-03-23T20:38:00.000-06:00

Watching American Idol. I feel so bad for all of the contestants tonight. Their nerves must be shot! So, just let me say that I agree that this is the best top 12 they have ever had. And, while I assume he won't win, I am completely in love with Constantine. Bo is probably the stronger of the two "rockers," but Constantine rocks my world. Yes, I love my husband but OMG! I think he was singing "I Think I Love You" just for me last night. Ha ha! I would never have expected to hear it sung that way. I really think that raising the age limit improved the competition.

Recently there has been so much drama with my babies. Actually, not with them but swirling around them. For now things are stable and they are at home with us. Ali turns one on April 7 and Angela turns two on April 25. I can't believe how big they are getting! Ali is pulling herself up and walking behind her little peek-a-blocks hippo. Angela is potty training and is doing great! She tells us when she has to go and usually makes it to the potty in time. She did it 3 times at daycare today!

I'm excited because our first anniversary is Sunday! I can't believe that just about one short year ago we were in Vegas getting married. We have been together for 7 years so it doesn't seem that different, but in the last year we got married, my brother has become disabled, my MIL and SIL moved out of the state, and the babies came to live with us. Through all of it my husband has remained not only my best friend, but my rock. He keeps me sane and still loves me when I'm not.

Not much else is going on around here. I'm looking forward to spring. I'm looking forward to spring cleaning! I always feel so motivated this time of year. I just have to find the time to get everything done.

BTK

2005-02-26T12:37:00.000-06:00

For any of you that are interested, this is information on BTK. He named himself this when he first made his murders public. It stands for "Bind them, Torture them, Kill them." I don't know what to say to express what I am feeling so I'm not going to say anything for now.

Oh my God

2005-02-25T23:06:00.000-06:00

It's all over the news now that they have taken a "person of interest" into custody on the B*TK case here. I have just found out that it's the father of one of my best friends from middle school. They did a DNA test and are going to have a press conference in the morning but a very reliable source has already told me that it's him. My heart is broken for my friend and her family. I haven't seen her since high school but think of her often and I can't even begin to imagine what her life is going to be like now. I will post more about it after the press conference.

Drama Queen I am not

2005-02-02T16:47:00.000-06:00

And my poor little laid back, homebody self just isn't sure how to deal with this drama. When I was a teenager I thrived on drama. If something wasn't up in the air I didn't know what to do. Now that things with my sister have turned so bad, I'm feeling like my life is on the verge of disaster. I guess that this is what you feel when you have committed yourself to a child, but man it is breaking my heart to imagine what will happen to them. Everything in my personal life has taken a back seat to making sure that what is in the best interest of my babies is what happens for them. I'm not religious, but I am spiritual. I have really had to remember to not keep this all on myself and trust that something much bigger than me is watching out for us.

I guess that's hard when I have to work every day with kids that have been abused or neglected by their parents and know that, chances are, they are going to go back into that situation or live it when they are adults.

Okay, deep breath. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

What a difference an email makes...

2005-01-31T21:28:00.000-06:00

So, my sister told me that on Wednesday she is going to file to have our guardianship terminated so that the babies can "come home" with her. News flash, they are home. Just not at her home. I spent the weekend breaking into tears every time one of the babies smiled at me or laughed because I'm scared to death of what will happen to them if they return to her. They have been with us for over seven months now.

We have an attorney and are going to meet with her to find out what our options are. I was still majorly stressed about it so I emailed our district attorney. She rocks by the way. I had a reply in 45 minutes saying that she had forwarded my email to the head of the juvenile division so that he could consult with our attorney and decide what the best legal action was to protect the best interest of the children. I freaked out when I saw the email from her and started jumping up and down.

I don't believe that my sister will ever be able to parent any of her children (she has 4 of them, 15, 12, 21 months and 9 months). I love her, but I don't like her. Her lifestyle is completely different than mine. Drugs, violence, instability.

So now I'm sitting here hoping and praying that what ever will give these girls the best possible life happens for them. I love them dearly and it breaks my heart to think about them not being here, but more than that I'm scared of what will happen to them if they go back to their biological mother.

2005-01-05T20:55:00.000-06:00

More ice.

2005-01-05T20:52:00.000-06:00

Yes, that is ice!

2005-01-05T15:10:00.001-06:00

Back yard.

2005-01-05T15:10:00.000-06:00

Broken fence and limbs.

2005-01-05T15:09:00.000-06:00

Front yard looking at the street.

2005-01-05T15:08:00.000-06:00

My beautiful little tree that I hope survives the storm.

2005-01-05T15:06:00.000-06:00

Aftermath of the storm... This is two houses down from us. Their yard is full of branches from the tree that almost fell on my husband last night.

Snap, crackle, pop

2005-01-04T22:00:00.000-06:00

We are enduring the worst ice storm I remember in my lifetime. It started about 10:00 this morning with a heavy rain. That started freezing on the trees and power lines at about 10:30. It rained all day and we are supposed to have more rain, sleet, and snow over night. The snap, crackle, pop noises of limbs falling is very eerie. It almost sounds like gun shots at times. The roads are now getting slick and schools and businesses all over the state are closing tomorrow. We live in a neighborhood with many old trees and they aren't fairing well. Our yard is covered and part of our back fence just got wiped out. There are 51,000 homes in my city without electricity. The homes across the street are out but amazingly we still have power. They are calling in crews from Oklahoma to help get the outages repaired but are still telling some people it will be 3 or 4 days before they get it restored.

Earlier this evening my husband and I were outside and saw a limb fall on our neighbor's car. Erin went to see if he could help her move it and I stayed on our porch. I heard the same tree start to pop and yelled at them to move. The next thing I new I saw them both go down. I started screaming for my husband and he didn't respond so I started running. I just remember screaming his name the whole time. When I got over to them our neighbor was down on the ground and Erin was trying to help her get up. He was okay but she got hit in the head with the limb. Our neighbors across the street came running when they heard me screaming. The lady had her daughter come get her and take her to the hospital. She just came back and let us know that she's okay, but had to get about 10 staples in her scalp.

I was so scared that Erin had been seriously injured or killed that I broke down when we got back in the house. He just held me and let me cry. Now we are looking out the front or back door every 5 or 10 minutes to make sure that the branches haven't caused any crisis situations. The wind is going to pick up soon and that will be even bigger trouble.

So, on to another subject. It has been a VERY long time since I posted. Some of that is because the last couple of times I tried to post something went wrong and my post got lost. The main reason is that I just didn't know what to say. So much is going on and I have been so out of it. The girls are still with us. They have been here for just over 6 months now. I can't believe how much we love them. Angela is now 20 months old and Ali is 9 months. They are getting so big and changing so quickly. Angela keeps surprising me with new words. The most disturbing one is "boobie." Okay, I said it ONE TIME and now it's her favorite word. When she sits on my lap she'll pat my chest and say "boobie, boobie" with such glee. I try not to laugh or make a big deal out of it, but it really does crack me up. She walked up to me tonight, touched her cheek, and said "face." Shocked me!

My sister was featured on the "Most Wanted" for our county a couple of weeks ago. Looks like the charges from the night the girls came to live with us are catching up with her. She keeps cycling through a month or two of being sane (in terms of what's sane for her) and then a month or two of being way out of it. About once a month she tells us she wants us to adopt the girls because she can't do what she should to be able to parent them and then the next day she acts like she never said it. I really think she has borderline personality disorder but she's such a good manipulator that she's got all of the "professionals" in her life snowed into thinking she's changed into this productive, sober person. It scares me to death to think that a judge would let the girls ever go back to her.

We had a hectic but fun Christmas. I'm so excited because my mom gave me a teach yourself to knit book and some supplies. I wanted to start last summer but with two babies moving in I just haven't had time. Go figure! Anyways, I'm going to make time now. I'm sick of worrying about my sister and what she has up her sleeve. I'm ready to do something therapeutic for myself.

2005 has to be a better year. I don't think I've posted about this before but I have an uncle that has been missing for a little over 2 months now. He had a very bad drug addiction and we are guessing that he's not alive. The last time anyone saw him he had taken my grandmother's car to the grocery store to cash a check for her. The police found the car and chased it. The driver crashed it and ran but it wasn't my uncle.

My brother is doing a little better. He was in a really crappy nursing home here and got such bad bed sores from the poor care he got that they went all the way down to the bone. He moved to a hospital about two and a half hours away. It breaks my heart that he's so far away but at least he's being well cared for.

Our electricity has flickered a couple of times so I'm going to sign off for now. One of my "resolutions" is to keep this site a little more updated. I'll really try. As I have said before, reading the blogs of my on-line friends, even though I haven't kept mine up, has been very good for me. I hope you are all doing well!

Postworthy

2004-12-13T16:50:00.000-06:00

Hmmm. Very interesting. Looks like I will be doing more of my Christmas shopping at B&N and Electronics Boutique. Too bad we don't have a Costco here! :(

http://www.buyblue.org/bluexmas.html

Bad Mommy Break

2004-10-06T13:24:00.000-05:00

I'm being a bad Mommy today. Erin and I called in sick (cough, sniff, wink) and went and bought an Xbox. We also got 5 games! Erin has been wanting one for a long time and I have been resisting. I don't enjoy combat games very much, but there's a few that I'll play. I got Buffy, The Sims, and Syberia.

Okay, I'm going to go enjoy my sick day. The girls are at daycare and it's just the hubby and me. What are we going to do? Go play games!

One year ago today

2004-09-14T22:37:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I was at a Meatloaf concert. It was awesome! One year ago today I wasn't even engaged. Now I'm married with 2 children. It's amazing what has changed in one short year. Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. My husband proposed to me on my 26th birthday. I asked him how he was going to be able to top that this year and he just said he wasn't. My priorities have changed so much since the babies came. I love getting presents, but this year I really don't want anything. All I really wanted for myself was to be able to go see a movie with my husband and this weekend my dad and step-mom watched the kids so we could do that. It was so much fun. We saw The Village and I really enjoyed it. After the movie we went to eat and then went shopping.

My shopping habits have also changed. Now when ever I go, I'm looking for baby stuff. I love shopping for them. I can't wait for Christmas and they aren't even really old enough to enjoy it yet. I told my family that instead of getting stuff for me for my birthday they should get stuff for the babies.

Fall is in the air. I love this time of year when the season just starts to change. Fall is absolutely my favorite season and the anticipation of the holiday season with babies is almost too much. It makes me sad to think that my sister didn't have her shit together well enough to give the girls what they deserve. My hope for them is that they get to be part of a whole family experience. We have enough family on both sides to really give them that. They have both changed so much since they came and their progress is amazing. It just makes me smile to think about them.

Pondering

2004-08-29T22:13:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm still here. I haven't had much to say which is why I haven't been around lately. I'm amazed at how fast things are going! The girls have been with us for two months. Life has changed so dramatically in such a short time. I was thinking about all of the changes that have happened and started thinking about my brother. I can't believe that he will never walk again. I think about the night of his accident and the fact that the last time he ever walked was to his car that night. His life was changed in one second and will never be even close to the way it was before. He is moving to a nursing home on Wednesday. It's pretty close to me so I'll get to see him more often. The rehab hospital he's at now is across town and is about a 25 minute drive each way. The nursing home he's going to is about 5 minutes away.

The guardianship is almost complete! We got the temporary order on Friday and that is as legal as the final order so I'm not as paranoid now that my sister is going to just come and snatch them away. She said that an "advocate" told her that if she was her she would just go snatch them away from their daycare. I told her that if she ever did anything like that to her children that would be the end of our relationship. Now I don't have to worry about that.

So, all you moms out there, I need advice on feeding the 4 month old. I have been giving her rice cereal once a day. Should I be doing it more often? When should I start giving her other cereal? She's only been eating the cereal for about 2 weeks now but she doesn't seem to get full on it. About 20 minutes later she wants a bottle. Any advice is appreciated!

Just for a moment

2004-08-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

Both babies are asleep now. That's rare! Usually Angel goes to sleep about 8:30 and Ali goes about 10:00. Today was their first day of daycare and they are both out. It's amazing.

So, as I said today was the first day of daycare. They were both fine when we dropped them off, but I cried when I left the building. Angel was eating breakfast and I was so proud that she actually had the spoon IN the bowl of cereal. When I picked them up Angel was outside playing with the other kids. It was so cute. I've never seen her with other kids her age.

On another note, please keep Goobergirl in your thoughts. She has a sick kitty and I hope everything goes well for them.

See you later!

Does it really have to be this way?

2004-07-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

I took the babies to their doctor today for shots. Since I am a "new mom" I didn't really know what to expect. Now, I knew the shots wouldn't be any fun and that they would cry, but I did not expect my heart to break so badly when the little baby looked at me as if she was asking "how could you let them do this to me?" Ali was asleep when I put her on the table and the bitch nurse said "I hate to do this to sleeping babies" and jabbed the needle into her. She popped her eyes open, looked at me in that horrible way, and started screaming. I didn't know she could make those noises. Angela got her shots first and that was bad enough, but I made my sister hold her while she was getting them. After Ali got hers the nurse just left the room. Nothing about what to watch them for or anything. We had asked for some Tylenol and she brought it in. There was no dropper with it and my sister asked for one. She said that we would have to go to the drug store and buy one. I got a really nasty feeling about the actual doctor and the whole office. We will not be going back there. When I get a bad feeling about a place I'm usually right. Oh, did I mention we sat in the exam room for an hour and when I went to ask when the nurse would be in they said they had forgotten about us being in there? Yeah. Not so great.

I'm going to stay home with the girls tomorrow. They were extra cranky tonight because of the shots and I feel like they need me to be here with them. I also feel like I'm being really spacey at work lately and need some time to get back on track. I just can't think about anything besides the babies while I'm away. I feel like my family has been run over in the last month and I haven't had a chance to process any of it. I keep forgetting to do things at work that are normally second nature. I wish I could take a mini vacation, but that's not going to happen for a while.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Take care!

Bittersweet

2004-07-24T23:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the SRS worker went over to talk to my sister about the agency's recommendations. They recommend that my husband and I keep the girls for now and get legal guardianship. I guess that if she had refused they would have put them in SRS custody. So, I'm happy the girls get to stay but I'm really sad for my sister. I hope she can get her stuff together, but by the time she does the babies will be pretty attached to us. It's amazing to see how far they have come in almost a month!

I'm tired and I can't believe how much our lives have changed since they got here. We are working on getting the nursery set up. I can't believe that we have a nursery! With two cribs! We went and bought a glider rocker today. My girls needed to be rocked. We went and got the other crib from my sister today. It's white metal, not our style, but it was free so we'll deal. She also gave us the Noah's Ark baby bedding she had. Also not our style. That one may have to be replaced. We'll see.

The weather here has been amazing the last two days. What would normally be 100+ degree days have been in the low 70's during the day. It rained all day yesterday and we found a leak in our roof, but I can deal with that for this unseasonal coolness. It makes me excited for fall. That's always my favorite time of year (my middle name is Autumn!) and this year I feel like I have an extra reason to be excited for the season change and the holidays. I'm already talking about Halloween and Thanksgiving.

My brother is progressing. We are afraid now that due to the lack of funding and programs in this area he may have to go to a nursing home for a few months. He's only 31. Right now he's at a rehab hospital trying to learn to live as a paraplegic. Life will be so different for him and he is suffering from some serious depression right now. I don't know what to do to help him other than be there.

Time for bed. I'm going to switch some laundry and go crawl into my nice warm bed and snuggle with my wonderful husband. By the way, I think he's enjoying the girls as much as, if not more than, me. It's great to see him with babies.

Time flies

2004-07-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

Wow! Time really does fly. We have had the girls for two and a half weeks. The first weekend here Angela, the 15 month old, started walking! She was 2 months premature so she is somewhat behind. I have heard that they usually catch up by age 2. A'Leecia, the 3 month old, has started sleeping through the night! Granted she doesn't go to sleep until 9:30 or 10:00 and gets up at 6:30, but no more 4:00am feedings! I'm hoping she'll let us sleep in tomorrow morning.

We went by the daycare this afternoon to check it out, but their hours were listed wrong in the phone book and they were just closing. The owner was there and she said she would stay and show us around, but I told her that since it was Friday night she should go home and we would come back on Monday evening. They close at 6:00 and I hope we don't have any trouble getting the girls picked up by then! The lobby was beautiful and looked almost like a posh hotel. I really like the fact that they have webcams that the parents can get on through the day to see what their babies are up to.

Gotta go feed a hungry baby. Good night~

Checking in

2004-07-15T16:44:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still around. The babies are still with us and my brother is still in the hospital, but doing better. We won't know for a couple more weeks if the girls are going to go home to their mother or stay with us. Not knowing is the hardest part. I want stability and some normalcy for them but I don't want to start something that they won't be here for in a couple of weeks. I am searching for daycare because my MIL would rather be the spoiling grandmother than the every day babysitter. We would like that too because then we could get some evenings or weekends off. We were SOOOO not prepared for this. We had to go buy a crib last weekend. Actually, my dad bought it. We also just found out that the 3 month old should move in to a crib from her bassinet too. So, I guess we'll buy another crib this weekend. :( My sister doesn't want to give us the one from her house because she wakes up every morning and looks at it and says "Some day..." Give me a break! We have your kids, they need somewhere to sleep! I know it's hard for her to deal with, but she really doesn't have their best interest in mind. She was supposed to come over for dinner last night (she's seen them once in the last 2 weeks) but she called me and said that a friend she hadn't seen in a long time came over and she was going to stay home to hang out with her. WTF???

The dishwasher just finished so I have to go start dinner. How on earth do you get everything done when you have babies? 2 babies so close together is crazy. If I'm not feeding one I'm changing the other. They never sleep at the same time during the day so it's hard to get anything done. I've been leaving work early to come home and clean, but the MIL seems to get upset that I don't come over and get them when I get off early. Please tell me that we will be able to find a routine that will make things less hectic...

Take care and know that even though I may not have time to post, I'm still reading your blogs and they give me a much needed break!

All was quiet

2004-07-03T21:35:00.000-05:00

The girls are in bed sleeping soundly. I'm so happy to have a few minutes to post on here. I tried to earlier, but blogger must have been having problems and I lost my post two times!

My brother came through his surgery well. He is still pretty sedated, but he knows something is wrong because he can't feel his legs. It breaks my heart because he will wake up and pat his legs and then give me this terrible look because he doesn't understand what is wrong. The doctors asked us not to talk to him about it because they wanted him to concentrate on healing. You never think anything like this is going to happen to your family. It could happen to anyone.

We are doing well with the babies. We had no time to prepare and with everything else going on we are feeling a little overwhelmed. I have to get time to clean out our spare bedroom so we can turn it into the nursery. My amazing friend Goobergirl brought us a lasagna, salad, and bread this morning. We haven't had time to eat, let alone cook. I have lost 5 pounds since they got here on Tuesday. We had a serving of the lasagna for lunch and it was like heaven. I appreciate everything our families and friends have done for us the last few days, but I think that is the one thing that has meant the most. It made for a great dinner tonight too!

Its starting to look more and more like this will be a long term if not permanent situation. Social services (we call it SRS here) is preparing the necessary paperwork to put the girls in custody but I don't know if that will have to happen. If my sister and her husband agree legally to let the girls stay with us, they won't have to go into custody of the state.

Goobergirl also brought me a copy of "What to Expect the First Year." I'm going to peruse it while we watch an old movie called "Murder by Death."

Wow!

2004-07-03T09:48:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it. I have a few minutes to post! Things are still nuts around here. My sister had to "voluntarily" commit herself to a psychiatric hospital. My brother is in surgery right now to have 2 titanium rods put in his back. The surgery will take at least 4 hours according to the surgeon. So, am I the only one that feels like babies make their parents stupid? Maybe it's lack of sleep, but I don't know... Any advice on parenting that anyone wants to give would be wonderful! Like, should the 3 month old be getting rice cereal in her formula? If so, how often? Also, should I feel guilty about laughing when the crying 15 month old smooshes her face on the netting of her play yard? It's like a baby pressing her face on glass and it looks so funny, but she's so mad! Okay, not mad but tired. She just laid down and put her bottle in her mouth!

Thanks for the supportive comments. I'm hoping that this is a new, drug free start for my brother. My dad is already making plans for him to go to college and gain some independence. He's only 30, will be 31 in 2 weeks. I'm afraid that his 19 year old girlfriend won't stick around for long, but that's not all bad other than the depression he'll probably go through.

Take care everyone. You all will be part of me keeping my sanity. I need these little breaks!

What lies ahead

2004-07-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let the few of you who read this know that I will be scarce around here for a while. On Tuesday night, my sister was arrested and I ended up getting her children. This may turn into a permanent thing, but it's too early to tell. Also, my brother was in a wreck early Wednesday morning and is in critical condition. His spinal cord was broken and he is paralyzed from the chest down. He can still move his arms for now, and they are going to do surgery to put a steel bar in his back on Saturday so he doesn't injure himself any more. There may also be brain damage, but we don't know the extent of it yet. Both of my siblings were doing meth and that was a big cause for the problems they are now going through. Ragan, I hope I get a chance to talk to you before you read this. If not, I'm sorry you heard all of this this way. I will call you tomorrow.

Take care and hopefully I'll be able to post once in a while.

Where did the time go?

2004-06-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

Hello all! Sorry I've been so scarce around here the last week. We ended up having baby A'Leecia for four days. It's amazing what having a baby around does to your life. I think that if we had a baby around more often we'd learn how to get things accomplished while taking care of the child. As it was, we just sat around and watched her be adorable. I have such admiration for mothers who find a way to get everything done when they have a baby.

We had planned to go to Oklahoma City to see my SIL this weekend, but our desire to have a quiet weekend around the house won out. So, now we are being lazy and planning a trip to Sam's for a free lunch (read: samples). We love going and browsing and always end up spending too much money. We actually bought a chest freezer just so we could buy in bulk. I love it.

Erin's birthday was fun. We went to Old Town and ate at this really great new German restaurant. Then we sat outside and watched some little kids run through the fountains. It was a nice, relaxing evening.

I hope you all have a great weekend. I'll be around.

Happy Birthday!

2004-06-24T07:23:00.000-05:00

Today is my husband's 28th birthday. Happy birthday baby! I love you very much and am so happy that you are my husband.

BFF&E, LYLAS

2004-06-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, my best girlfriend called me last night and it made me think about the different best friends I've had in different times of my life.

Preschool and beginning of elementary school- Amanda. We went to ballet class and preschool together. The funniest story I remember about being with her (and there were quite a few!) was when we dressed up for Halloween and went to her school for a party. I don't have any idea what I was dressed up as, but Amanda was dressed up as a cheerleader. She was always very pretty and I have a picture of her when she was 10 that looks like a 26 year old. Anyways, she had stuffed some socks in her bra so that she would look well stacked. I think we were probably about 8 or 9 at the time. When we got to the school, one of the teachers told her that her boobs were lumpy and proceeded to adjust them for her. Okay, so maybe that's more disturbing than funny... Amanda moved away to Missouri when we were still in elementary school. I have tried to find her several times, but have been unable too.

End of elementary school- Stacey. What brought us together was a common crush on the same boy on our bus. The boy ended up being my first true love (yes, in elementary school!) and Stacey and I still talk once in a while. She and I had many goofy times together and had a lot of fun. She was the friend that I grew apart from. She moved to a new school district and we still talked, but I grew up and she didn't. I remember having a birthday party (my first co-ed celebration) that she was at. She called me after the party and yelled at me for not spending the entire time with her. Hmm, that was pretty much the end of the friendship. A few years later I was working at a bookstore and she came in. We still see each other every once in a while now, but aren't close at all.

Middle school- Summer. She was the friend that I got into the most trouble with, although we never meant to do anything wrong. We were in the same "group" of best friends, but we were the closest to each other than any of the others. She had a beautiful singing voice and I remember her singing me to sleep at one of our many overnights. She moved away after middle school and we lost track of each other. I ran into her mom a couple of times over the years and about a year ago I got an email from Summer. I don't know where she found my email address, but it was great to hear from her. We still email on a pretty regular basis, but it's been years since we have seen each other. We went to a New Kids on the Block concert together in our younger days.

High school- Olivia. I don't really know what to say about Olivia. We also grew apart. We met in our freshman year when I went to her house to work on a group project for school. I was the only one from the group that showed up and then I found out it was her birthday. I was sad for her that on her birthday, instead of having a party, we were working on homework. We were pretty much inseparable for the next 6 years. We saw each other through much of our personal growing up. I remember shoving her boyfriend into a locker when I found out they had had sex for the first time. I told him that if he hurt her, I would kill him. Her family was just as crazy as mine, but I remember thinking it was weird because her parents were still married. Kinda sad huh? A few years ago, Olivia got married and I was her maid of honor. We had already grown apart somewhat, but I did it anyways. We talked once after that, but I haven't seen her since then. She had a baby 2 years ago, and I cried when I found out because I always thought we would be best friends forever and that we would share that amazing moment together. I ran into her parents a month ago and it was nice to see them. As weird as they were, I loved them dearly. She is doing well and her little boy is adorable. I often wonder what it would be like to be back in contact with her, but things didn't end on a really great note.

That brings me to adulthood- Dolores. Dee and I met at B&N, where we worked together. It was an instant friendship and it was really neat to meet someone I had so much in common with. Dee was married and had an adorable little girl. Her husband is in the military and spent some time out of the state. We would go to her house and watch movies and hang out while he was gone, but we also had fun while he was home. They are both great people and her husband is so full of energy. He had no trouble keeping up with their 2 year old! I had had very little experience with military families, so I wasn't prepared when they got orders to move to another state. They moved to Montana just a couple of short years after our friendship was started. Neither of us is very good at keeping in contact, but when we talk it's like we just saw each other last week. I miss her so much. They moved to England about a year ago and I hope to go see her there before they have to leave that country. She's the one that called last night. I haven't been able to find anyone that I feel the same way about since she left. Nobody can replace her. I really wanted her to be my maid of honor, but our timing was bad and the proposal and wedding didn't come until she had moved out of the states.

My most long term friendship is Ragan. We have known each other since we were little kids. We are still great friends to this day and I really enjoy her company. It's great to have a friend that I share so much history with. She is an amazing person and goes to great lengths for those that she cares about. I don't doubt that we will be friends for the rest of our lives, and hopefully we can share many grown up adventures together. It's amazing to see someone go from little kid to adult married woman. I can't wait to see her as a mommy because she will be great at it.

Even with all these varied girlfriends, my best friend is my husband. He is a tremendous person. I feel very lucky to have met him especially when I look back at all the losers I dated. I can't imagine going through life without someone like him. The instant we met, I knew this was the man for me. He worked at B&N when I went in for my interview. He knew who I was when I went to ask for the manager. I went home and told my mom that the interview went well, but that there was this really cute boy that worked there and I was going to date him. 6 months later we were together and haven't been apart since. 5 and a half years later we were married! It was such a new experience for me to be with someone who was as intelligent (if not more so) as me and who had such common interests. Sometimes he would say things before we started dating that would just reaffirm my belief that we were meant to be together. I remember walking away from him because I was getting tearful several times before we started dating because he said something that made me even more sure we were supposed to be together, and he didn't get it yet. I finally wrote him a letter letting him know how I felt, got the courage up to give it to him, and told him to read it and never mention it to me. Okay, being a girl that's not really what I meant. I meant, read it and then come tell me that you love me too and that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. He didn't say a word. A couple of months after we started dating, I found the note at his house. He had kept it. I asked him why he had never said anything about it, and he said because I told him not to. Go figure!

What all of this means to me is that I have been very lucky to be involved with such diverse people. I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends, but these are the friends that I will always have the most memories of. If any of those old friends are reading this, know that I love you and miss you. Thank you for being part of my life. Without you, I would not be the person I am today.

2004-06-14T21:37:00.000-05:00

Baby Angel, always smiling.

2004-06-14T21:34:00.000-05:00

Little A'Leecia has stolen my heart.

Instant mommy?

2004-06-11T23:41:00.000-05:00

Long story short, I ended up with my nieces for at least the weekend. They are 2 months and 13 months old. It's been so long since I cared for a baby that young, that I feel like I don't know anything. They are very sweet little girls, but I'm already exhausted and I've only had them for 6 hours. Both are sound asleep right now, and my sister said they usually only get up once in the night. I'm hoping the weather is good enough tomorrow that we can take them out and around with us.

I'm going to go crash and hope that I get at least a few hours of rest before they wake up.

Nothing much

2004-06-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

We went and got new drivers licenses today. We have a new system that's kind of strange. So instead of leaving with a new license, I left with a receipt looking thing that has my picture and other info on it and they'll mail my real license in about 2 weeks. I'm such a procrastinator that I'm just now getting around to changing my name on all of my id and accounts. It's a lot of work!

We watched Mystic River. I didn't care for it. I think the acting was good, but the story wasn't great. I love summer because we have time to catch up on the movies we miss through the year.

I'm also looking forward to starting some craft projects. I need to learn how to knit, and I need to do some scrapbook layouts of the wedding. I'm hoping to take a knitting class so that I can get the basics down. I see such cute patterns and can't wait to get started!

I'm going to go to bed early so I can get some reading done. Have a good night!

Is it Friday yet?

2004-06-09T19:34:00.000-05:00

It's been a really long week so far. It seems like all of my kids at work are in crisis. One of my girls is having a baby, they induced her today, and SRS is going to put the baby in custody as soon as it's born. That's sad, but there's no way the teen is going to be able to care for this baby. I'm emotionally exhausted.

We are going to watch a movie and relax. Had taco salad for dinner. Not great, but it's food... Wake me up when it's Friday.

What's for dinner?

2004-06-06T19:11:00.000-05:00

The kabobs were wonderful! The site we got the recipe from is really cool. We have gotten a lot of really good recipes from it. I really like that there are reviews. They really help.

Nielsen family we are not...

2004-06-06T17:05:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited! Next week Six Feet Under starts, and then the next Sunday Dead Like Me starts! What's a girl to do? This means that once again I will love Sunday night. Usually, it's a pretty depressing night for me. I hate that the weekend is over and I'll have to go back to reality in just A FEW SHORT HOURS! Or so it feels.

These two shows starting new seasons means that I will be able to be excited for Sunday nights for the next few months! I am worried though because it looks like they are on at the same time. I'll have to TiVo one and watch the other.

Last night we watched Cheaper by the Dozen. It was a cute movie and we both laughed out loud at a couple of parts. We also watched Love Actually, which we saw in the theatre when it was out last year. It's such a fun movie!

Erin's outside grilling shish kabobs. It's a new recipe that we have never tried so if it's good, I'll post a link for it. No lamb for us, just chicken and beef. Lambchop ruined that for me.

Have a great Sunday evening!

Update at 7:27pm- I just found out that Dead Like Me is on right after Six Feet Under. Yay!

Something wicked this way comes

2004-06-05T02:14:00.000-05:00

Just got home from the drive in. We saw Harry Potter and Scooby Doo 2. Harry Potter was great. Prizoner is my favorite of all the books, and this was my favorite of the movies so far. Scooby Doo was fun too. We were just too tired to stay for the third movie.

Why is it that when I'm not looking at the car in front of us, one of the passengers decides to moon the limo full of teenaged girls? I miss all the fun stuff!

Punk Rock Kid

2004-06-03T20:47:00.000-05:00

We just finished watching School of Rock. What a great movie. It really made me want to move in the direction of becoming a teacher. I love it when movies empower kids. I sometimes forget how amazing they can be. Yes, I know this was just a movie, but the kids were great. I work with kids that are in foster care and have "special needs." That means that they have some sort of mental health diagnosis. Sometimes they are total turds, but most of them are these amazing people. One little boy just tugged at my heart yesterday. He's only 4 and diagnosed with RAD. He had a tantrum at his visit with his mom and stormed into his bedroom. I went in to talk to him and he tried to push me away so I got down on my knees so I could be at his level and asked him if he needed a hug. He turned these big, brown, sad eyes at me and just nodded. I held him for a few minutes and then he was okay. They don't always know how to tell us what they need, and sometimes it's just a little love and encouragement. Wow. They blow me away.

Family ties

2004-06-03T15:34:00.000-05:00

I ended up going. It's a long story. Let me just say I'm exhausted. My sister thinks that because I'm certified to do addictions counseling I can provide them with couples counseling. I told her that because I didn't want to lose her as my sister I couldn't say the things that need to be said. Her husband doesn't speak English very well, so I told them I would try to help them find a bilingual counselor. I'm still really worried, but I have to just keep thinking that what I can do for them is limited. They have to make better choices and decide that they want better lives. I really worry about the babies because my sister thinks it's okay for her to leave them with people that shoot up just because they don't do it at the house. One of those people was there last night and I couldn't even make myself look at her. My sister actually told me that she thinks the reason her first two children were such easy babies is because she smoked marijuana while she was pregnant with them.

While this wore me out, it just made me even more thankful for what I have in my own life. We own our house and cars, I have an amazing husband that would never dream of hitting me or using his words to abuse me, I am not a drug addict, I don't wonder where my next meal is going to come from, I have the ability to work and I love my job, I have friends that I trust and that trust me, I have three wonderful fur babies, I have the ability to support myself, and most of all, I respect myself.

What to do...

2004-06-02T16:39:00.000-05:00

I got home today to a message on my answering machine from my ex-cousin-in-law (is that a real thing?) who is currently living with my sister. The sister that has the two little babies. This ex-cousin-in-law is a loser. Now, I don't take those terms lightly. I don't go around referring to everyone as a loser. You have to really strive to be a loser in my book. She no longer has custody of her little boy, my loser cousin does. This poor little boy was at my niece's birthday party last month. This scrawny boy weighs maybe 18 pounds SOAKING wet. I would put my arms around him and he is just skin and bones. He is now about 15 months old. Okay, back on subject. The message says "Hi. This is K-. Call me as soon as you can on your sister's phone. It's urgent." So I call her back and she says it's fine now, my sister just had a "nervous breakdown for a minute." Now, understand that my sister is a walking nervous breakdown. I asked if she needed me to come over. She got real quiet and said not right now. I asked if she was sure, and she said yes. I told her to call me if they needed anything tonight. So, now I'm sitting here wondering if I should go because I don't trust K-. At all. I'm worried about the babies. My sister is a druggie who says she's clean. I don't believe that though and so now my insides are burning and I feel like I should go. She wouldn't let me talk to my sister because she said she didn't want to talk to anybody. I don't know what to do because I don't want my sister to get angry that I just show up after she said she doesn't want to talk to anybody. This is nuts!

Pop, six, squish...

2004-05-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

The cats and dog decided I needed to be up at 7:30 this morning. The cats tell me this by jumping on the nightstand and knocking off anything they can on to the hardwood floor. The dog just runs back and forth across the bed, and in the process, us. So, I got up and decided that instead of doing the housework that should be done before the mom's come over tomorrow, I would watch television.

Of course, with 500+ channels, there's nothing on. I finally landed on Chicago. I've only seen this movie about 20 times, but I just love it. My SIL works for Lyric Theatre and last summer they did the stage show. We saw that before seeing the movie. It was great. And guess who played Velma? None other than Debbie, pardon me, Deborah Gibson. Does anyone remember Electric Youth perfume? What were we thinking?

So, now I'm watching Bio-Dome. Who says I don't have diverse tastes? We were going to watch some movies last night but ended up watching the weather on t.v. because we were under a tornado warning most of the evening. Nothing happened other than getting some heavy rain. Now the temperature is only 68 cool degrees and I am trying to get motivated to go clean... I'd rather go lay outside and read, but the need to impress my MIL with a clean house will keep that from happening.

Welcome home Goobergirl. I can't wait to hear all about your trip!

2004-05-27T18:31:00.000-05:00

Celebrity sighting: Elton John in Caesar's Palace

You goober!

2004-05-26T17:22:00.000-05:00

Goobergirl is in Las Vegas right now and I'M SO JEALOUS! :) Sometimes I feel like my body is in Kansas and my heart is in Vegas. We keep saying we need to go somewhere other than Las Vegas for vacation (we've gone the last 4 vacations!) but somehow we always end up there. The first time was my first Valentine's day gift from Erin, the next time we went because my grandpa won a free trip and didn't want to go, the third was to go to a clothing market with his mom, and the last time was to get married! It was a common love for Vegas that was one of the first things that attracted me to Erin. I have an uncle that lives there and I use that as a good excuse to go. At least I get to see family! We would really love to go to San Diego or Orlando though. Erin really wants to go to Universal Studios and I would love to go to Disney World. This sounds terrible, but I'd really like to do that before we have little kids so that we can really enjoy it!

On another note, George Michael was on Oprah today. I forgot how much I like him! He talked about getting arrested for "Lewd acts" in 1998. That was crazy! I can't wait to get his new cd. He still has an amazing voice.

Okay, I'm off to make tacos and watch Fantasia win American Idol. Not that I don't like Diana, but Fantasia is awesome! Have a great night!

I'm just lost

2004-05-24T21:35:00.000-05:00

We just watched Lost in Translation. What a great movie. It was really touching and kind of sad, but it was really neat. It's kind of weird that the "Scary Movie" girl's character was based on Cameron Diaz.

We are having a nice storm with wonderful thunder and lightning now. I think I'll go to bed and read. I'm reading the Diane Mott Davidson books right now. They are light and fun. I'm just waiting for the next Anita Blake novel to come out!

Have a great night!

2004-05-23T11:24:00.000-05:00

Baby Angel. Blowing kisses or palm reading?

Isn't it romantic?

2004-05-22T20:10:00.000-05:00

We were cleaning up the office today and I spent some time looking at the stuff we brought home with us from our recent trip to Las Vegas. After almost 6 years together, we tied the knot there in March. I want to upload some of the pictures and there's even one of our celebrity sighting! You'll just have to wait to see who it is. The wedding was wonderful! Very small and intimate. My favorite uncle, who happens to live in Vegas, walked me down the aisle. It was the second best thing to having my dad there. Our mothers, his sister, and her boyfriend (now fiance!) all flew out to be with us. We got married at the Tropicana Island Wedding Chapel. It was a nice, short ceremony. 6 minutes! We then went out to eat at a restaurant called Little Buddha. It's at the Palms Casino, which is where my uncle works. The manager comped the meal for us which was amazing considering it was 7 people! The food was better than anything I have ever eaten in my life! We got to try every appetizer, had tons of Saki (my MIL fell in love with it and drank most of it herself!), the main courses were breathtaking, and then the manager sent out a bottle of Champagne and this to-die-for dessert. It was a small chocolate cake with this rich liquid center. We ended up tipping the servers and everyone almost $400, so I guess that made up for it being free to us!

I'll post more about the actual wedding and trip once I get some pictures posted.

So tired....

2004-05-21T20:53:00.000-05:00

Hmmmm... Just got home from dinner with the hubby, my Daddy, and my step mother. 2 gold Margaritas and an order of Tempura Shrimp later and I'm zonked! We are watching the season finale of Joan of Arcadia and then will have an early bedtime! TiVo rocks by the way. I love being able to pause my show and come back later.

I watched part of "The Ring" earlier tonight and I'm such a wussy! Now I won't go into any room that is dark without making my husband go first. I've seen it before, but it still freaks me out. The one that got me the worst is "Wrong Turn." Not a great movie, but it scared the crap out of me. My husband thinks that's hilarious and takes advantage of my fraidy catness whenever he can!

Anyways, have a great weekend. I'll probably be around here some time!

WHAT?

2004-05-19T21:58:00.000-05:00

Ummm, what just happened on Angel? I don't get it. Very let down...

gimme some of that old time guilt

2004-05-19T18:24:00.000-05:00

Okay, what is it about my family that they know exactly how to guilt me? My uncle, who lives in Vegas, did some really great things for us while we were there in March getting married. He emailed today to say he was worried because he hasn't heard from us except for one message I sent him to warn him that my sister was going to call to ask for money. He then said that he had gotten nice thank you cards from my mom, MIL, and SIL. Hmmm, no card from me? Okay, just got married, had a honeymoon, big reception, finished the semester, and work full time. No, I haven't sent thank you's yet. He didn't mean anything by it, but the perfectionist in me is screaming BAD NIECE! He then went on to ask if I had gone to see my Grandma lately (no) and that we all know she doesn't have much time left because she'll be 80 in July. Argh! I can't win. I'm not that close to this Grandma and she made it very clear when I was little that I was the bottom priority of her 8 grandchildren. Now that I'm the only one who isn't royally fucked up, she wonders why I don't visit. Well, let me see...

My sister, by the way, is 32. She has 4 kids. A 15 year old boy, a 12 year old girl, a baby that just turned 1, and another little girl that is now 1 month old. The last two are just less than a year apart. Her husband, the father of the 2 little ones, is only 22. She is on welfare, which pisses me off because she gets paid to sit on her ass and pop out babies while I pay for her damn welfare! Okay, sorry, that's my soapbox. I know that some families need economical assistance, but it makes me mad when perfectly capable people take advantage of a system that I am helping to fund!

Okay, I've gotten my rant out! Had a great day at work and am going out to buy a new scanner tonight. Maybe I'll figure out (or have the hubby do it!) a way to post some wedding pictures on here. Have a great evening! I'm going to watch AI and know that Fantasia doesn't even have to compete now!

Not stuck on you

2004-05-16T19:49:00.000-05:00

If you are thinking about watching Stuck On You, don't bother. What a waste of a rental! Somethings Gotta Give, on the other hand, was a fun movie.

Getting started

2004-05-16T09:26:00.000-05:00

I don't really know what to write about yet, but I thought I would start out by giving some background information on myself. I'm 26 years old and happily married to an amazing guy. We have been together for almost 6 years, but just got married on March 27th of this year. We bought a house about 2 years ago and are working on redecorating it. We have 2 kitties and 1 dog. He is a computer tech and I work in the social work field. I work for full time and go to school part time. I am a certified drug and alcohol counselor but not sure if that's the field I want to stay in. I've thought about teaching kindergarten or first grade. I've lived in Kansas all of my life. I love to do crafty things and am going to start knitting. My husband's response to that was "Aren't you a few decades too young for that?" I told him no, and just for that he was going to get a hideous sweater that he would have to wear all this winter. Hmmm, don't know if I'll be good enough to do a sweater that soon. I also like to do scrapbooking, paper crafts, painting, photography, and pretty much anything else that doesn't require me to draw! Hopefully I can post some pictures of some of the things I have done and gain some blogging friends that can give me advice when I need it (such as how to felt knitted items!!!) and share ideas with. I'm looking forward to meeting new people!

Hello?!?

2004-05-14T23:30:00.000-05:00

Hey! This is my first ever blog post! Just testing...